Why Hello Internet, It's Been a While

Wow, has it really been three years since I posted anything to this blog? The older I am getting the busier life seems to become. I remember being a teenager in high school thinking that I had too much to do with two jobs, homework and a social life.

I certainly don't go out as much as I used to but I feel like time is in even shorter supply. Paid freelance work is a necessary evil and one I must maneuver my personal projects and work for family members around along with the usual grown up commitments of babysitting my awesome nephew, cooking, cleaning and caring for the pups. I don't mind it - just wish I had more time and energy to tackle it all. 

Hopefully things will change and I will putting more effort in the areas I know I need to. Anyone who has ever trudged through a creative undertaking probably knows what I'm talking about. You want to devote all your time, energy and focus on this one project but that is usually not the work that comes with a paycheck. Since the utility companies aren't too keen on IOUs or a promise of payment when you hit the jackpot and become a bestselling writer, famous musician or celebrated painter, there's always going to be a need to take on mundane jobs to put food on the table. I am thankful to have the work, but now is the time to learn to juggle like a pro.

So I hope to include this blog along with a few other personal endeavors on my list. Who knows, I might even find some interesting tidbits to discuss here beyond my personal scheduling challenges (which I'm sure are not unique to me). So here I go...trying to figure it all out and bring my dust-gathering ideas to life. 

The Monsters Return

They are there, watching, waiting, and listening.

They have honed their craft well, remaining along the outskirts of reality. The sounds come in illusion form just as sleep and consciousness begin to weave together. During the time when the mind stands on the brink of inner oblivion, prepared for another trip into the depths until the light of day summons it back out again.

The monstrous beast glides up the street, a screeching howl accompanying it. Tendrils of sound reach my window and slide inside, wrapping around my mind as visions of it flying over the pavement precede it. It is an enormous fleeting emotion, a playful tease of the imagination. As it nears, almost upon my house and my open bedroom window, it shifts into reality.

A truck passes by, taking with it the evidence of the beasts' true form.

As I remain wake, working at my daily tasks, the beasts tuck themselves away around the sides of my vision. I see them move sometimes. They are there as a slight twitch of shadow or an odd blur of color just out of view. To look makes them fade away.

They have a mission. They always do. Everyone's monsters exist for a reason. They tie us back to ourselves. No matter how stretched the lines become, they always guide us. They help us sink or feet into old ponds, feel the cool refreshing breeze, and fear the dark things that observe from the shadows we created.

In that place sits a well of our own construction, tethered to it dangles a dented water bucket. If we do not draw from it soon, the creatures swimming within will grow and multiply. They will produce even more intense, gruesome beings to overwhelm us when we return. The large will eat the small and grow larger. The misshapen bodies will begin to spill over the bucket's rim, back into the still, rippling pool at the bottom of the well.

My monsters have been stirring and they are calling me back. The water bucket is full and I must draw from it or be overwhelmed by their images, their voices, and their realities.

Dear Society,

It seems as though common sense is dead and we each took a turn twisting the knife handle.

Who am I? I’m a nobody. But I am currently observing first hand as someone I know personally is diced, sliced and neatly fed back to the public as a monster. My cousin, David Eberhardt, Jr., is currently being picked apart by the media as some kind of child thief for the alleged “kidnapping” of Kari Smith.

Did he do something wrong? Certainly, I am not arguing that point for a second. What I am arguing is what he did wrong. Both David and Kari are to blame, yet David is being handed that nasty end of the stick no one wants to touch by the media and this girl.

I watched a video interview of Kari and her family. She can’t even look at the camera as she speaks - the true sign of a liar. This girl was on her way to a youth’s home just before departing for Florida. Obviously she had some motivation to get the hell out of Dodge, yet I don’t see any of that mentioned.

I have seen many comments from people I don’t know who, I feel, got it dead on. This was a case of a pair of young, stupid teenagers doing something they shouldn’t. Certainly not the first time in human history, and certainly won't be the last. The difference here is that when they got caught, suddenly Kari is helpless and innocent. Not a girl who got kicked out of school and willingly ran away from home - again.

I won’t vouch for how well Kari and David knew each other. However I can tell you that I know David personally. He is not a violent person. He never has been. I have seen him playing with his nephew. He always seemed to genuinely enjoy spending the holidays with his family. He has certainly caused his share of trouble in his parents’ lives, but then again what teenager hasn’t?

David is a legal adult, but he’s only 19. Isn’t there supposed to be a reason we don’t allow drinking until 21? Oh that’s right, because of maturity. Perhaps David was not thinking like an adult. Perhaps he and Kari were both thinking like ignorant teenagers.

Let’s face facts. The media is hungry for a monster. So what do they do? They get to work building one. Poor little Kari gets off her plane, running to her mothers arms. She was so scared. She was such a brave little victim. She had no desire to run off just before she was to go to a youth’s home. She didn’t want to take a vacation to Florida. There is obviously more here than the news articles are telling.

I don’t know too many kidnappers who allow their victims to keep their cell phones or get on the internet to use social networking websites. Isn’t cutting off communication the number one rule in the kidnapper’s handbook?

I also don’t know too many victims who tell friends in advance that they are heading off across state lines with their kidnapper just before it happens. There is usually an element of surprise in this type of crime. Kari knew the whole time. She chose to go, they got caught and now she’s covering herself, even if it destroys someone else’s life.

I am not saying that David should not face the consequences of his actions. However, what were his actions, really? I don’t believe at any point he intended to or acted on any urges to kidnap Kari. I do believe that she went with him willingly and is now turning her story around. I believe she’s lying to all of us, and the media is urging her along, starved for a good story. As I said, lets’ call it what it is: a couple of teenagers being really, really stupid. See how it loses the media glamour when viewed with a heavy dose of reality?

Kari is just as much at fault. Her age should not change that. David did things that were wrong, but Kari was a willing accomplice, not a victim. Both should be punished, but for the right reasons.

So, all I ask is that we all let go of the knife handle and let common sense live again. Certainly we have much bigger issues to worry about than a couple of dumb teenagers running off on an impromptu vacation. They are both at fault and both should face the consequences they earned so that we can all move on with our lives instead of focusing on destroying one.

Yours Truly,

Shel Gatto

PS - Here you can read a screenshot taken from Kari Smith's MySpace profile where a friend clearly comments about Kari's trip to Florida, something she would not have known about had Kari truly been taken against her will. I added a red outline around the comment for easier viewing.

The Art of Writing Fear

The goal of any horror writer is to terrify the reader as much as possible through words. Those who do not read may not understand the influential power of fiction. Upon first glance, they see nothing more than ink on a page - the black and white. However, when correctly strung together these words can combine setting, characters and events in a way that requires no Hollywood special effects to make the audience's blood run cold.

It is my personal opinion that the imagination can create even more detailed and realistic images than anything a film can produce. Give it the right tools and a nudge in the desired direction and those little black and white letters may as well be thousands of tiny, fanged beasts gnawing away at the reader's mind.

As a writer, it can be difficult to find a good balance between providing information and letting the imagination do the work. If you spell it all out and get too detailed, you may delve into the realm of boring or even cheesy. On the other hand, if you leave it all up to the imagination then you are not really writing anything.

Offer the reader a well placed opening at just the right moment. Seduce them with the ominous setting, and maybe some back story. Tease them with just a glimpse of the entire situation. Then give their imagination a push and let it gain momentum!

What fang and claw-bearing beast lurks in the still forest?

While the characters wander dark forests, corridors, streets, or whatever Hell you have placed them in, drag the reader along for the ride. Just as the action creeps around the corner or we are about to view the evil beast, killer, whatever, only allow a glimpse. The description doesn't even have to be visual, it could be something heard, felt or realized.

I believe some miss the importance of imagination. A writer can create excellent fiction with the perfect combination of words and structure. Their grammar and spelling could be flawless. However, without the reader's imagination, it is nothing but words on the page.

Numbing Time and the Missing's Silent Discovery

If you have not noticed by now, I have a love of many things in the way of dark fiction. However, that affection, or perhaps I should call it a morbid curiosity, carries over into real life. I suppose that is to be expected. Still, those horrifying true stories intrigue me. Yes, I share the same desire to unravel the serial killer's brain and figure out why they were so depraved as to commit the acts that they did. However, there is another layer here that often goes unmentioned in the hollow shell of a short news clipping.

When you start getting in depth, you start to consider more than the two parties involved - the guilty and the victim. Yes, perhaps these two are at the epicenter. The guilty must bear the consequences of his or her actions while the victim remains in whatever state they were left in, be it scarred or dead. What about the others, who may only be briefly mentioned in the sea of black and white print?

For example, take the interesting tale of a real life 17th century cold case. The body of a teenage boy was discovered during an ongoing project to unearth long forgotten settlements in Annapolis, Maryland. Further investigation determines that the boy was murdered. His real name may never be known and the guilty party is long dead and currently dealing with whatever otherworldly punishment his or her god sees fit.

On first glance, it is easy to separate yourself. Aside from age and gender, it is difficult to identify with the deceased. Time creates an enormous gap. That can be traversed with a little imagination.

Consider who may have known this young man. Surely he had friends or family. Someone must have missed him. In their world he just one day up and disappeared, never to return. Did they suspect or were they completely blind to the fact foul play was involved? We can only speculate. Once you begin to consider this, it closes the gap slightly. It makes the murder a little more real and less padded by centuries.

I often wonder, when an unidentified body is found, what is the story behind that person's life? Who is missing them? Will they ever know the truth? There are a vast number of remains discovered in past decades that may never be identified and appear to go forgotten by the world.


A little change of perspective can really shift the emotional aspect of a story. Would you feel as concerned for this boy as you would for a boy of the same age and race discovered murdered within the last year or five years? Even ten? Most people would not. Justify it however you want, but on first glance, how would you react if both stories were in the newspaper side by side? My guess is, the modern tale would garner more concern.

Perspective can act like an emotional magnifying glass. It helps readers and writers see history and draw it a little closer. Although this may sound quite dark and depressing, it can be a useful tool in writing.

I am not drawing any conclusions regarding the social state of today or humankind in general. I am merely pointing out the importance of perspective in both fiction and non-fiction. A little creative thought, even in a real life story, can go a long way.

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Know When to Say "When"

I am getting married on October 10th of this year.
As a writer, it is driving me insane.

Why? Am I afraid of losing my personal identity by legally and spiritually weaving my life into that of another? Is it because of conflict due to the ceremony itself? Do I hate wedding cake and it is completely throwing off my writer's chi?

No.
It is a simple matter of time.

Time was not so important when I was a child. As I grew into a teenager, it began to become a significant factor in life. I had to get to school, class, and work on time. It was different then though, living at home I had family to help.

I had my mom to run in to my room screaming about the bus coming in fifteen minutes. I also had fewer responsibilities so fewer things monopolized my time. Even as I neared the age of twenty, I thought I knew what older adults meant when they talked about not having any of the elusive commodity called time.

Today, I fully understand what they were talking about. It has become a strenuous task to balance work, personal life, and the household. It would not be quite so bad if it was not for the wedding planning thrown into the mix. Did I also mention just about everyone else I know is getting married as well? All summer, a weekend has not gone by without one shower or ceremony and reception to attend.

I suppose, in a way, my marital bliss is the reason my writing has been put on hold. This has brought me to a conclusion. Please feel free to disagree, I come to this as a result of my own experiences. If you have some magical or infallible way to make more time, by all means, please share.

I have come to the conclusion that sometimes, there is no way to balance it all. You simply cannot do it. Even if you wake up each morning at 5 or 6 am and plan out each day, there will be conflicts not to mention distracting stress. My solution to all this is to eliminate something. Not permanently of course, but it makes complete sense to me.

My wedding planning will be done, come hell or high water, on October 10th. I know this, it is a solid date and not far off. Much as I dislike the idea, it seems logical that my personal writing must be set aside for now until I can return to it with the time it deserves. It seems silly for me to put in a few minutes here or there, while my mind is elsewhere and the work will not be given the attention it should. Rather than trying to be miss perfect planner, I feel like I have to compromise with myself.

Go ahead, call me a slacker or failure or whatever you like. This just works best for me. Rather than tumbling through the next month pulling my hair out, I would rather simply put the personal work on hold. I will still be freelance writing (it is a must, after all, a wedding will not pay for itself) however my novel and other personal projects will simply have to wait.

I do not write this for any kind of reassurance. My decision is made regardless of what anyone else thinks. However, I write this for others who may have fallen into this trap as well. Life throws things at you, and sometimes you do not have enough hands to hold it all. Rather than letting things, like your sanity, fall on the floor and shatter, compromise. Everyone has a sturdy shelf, so take one or two of the things that can wait, and put them up there. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I promise I will not view you as less of a writer, or whatever you may be.

The most important part is to remember that it is alright to say you have been defeated by time. It is ok to put a few things aside, things that can wait and will still be there when you are ready for them, provided you remember to remember them. Know when to say when, but do not forget to pick them back up off the shelf when the time devouring-storm has weakened.

The Longest Journey

The path to author-dom has proven to be a long and winding one. Although this does not come as a surprise, even the most cursory look into the world of publishing reveals long deadlines and grueling response times. Still, as a hopeful newcomer, no amount of preparation seems to be enough to fully grasp the intensity of these waiting periods.

Queries go out, rejections come in. I have received a few myself. However, today one glimmer of hope appeared. An agent requesting a partial manuscript. In the back of my mind, I know that this will quite possibly amount to another rejection. Yet, I also realize that this is the farthest I have traveled on the author road at this point. It is nearly invigorating. I have peaked someone's curiosity. Even if it only adds to my list of rejections, it means I have inched forward.

I am no expert...yet. However, I have found keeping busy helps pass the time, just be careful to not over do it. They say as soon as you begin querying for one novel, you should start writing the next. Otherwise, the waiting and agonizing could prove fatal to your perseverance, and later, your writing career. I believe this to be true, but I also want to issue a word of warning. Make sure you are setting aside enough time to follow up and continue sending queries every so often, or your project may stagnate.

For a while now, I have been building up my freelance writing career. I currently handle a number of projects for a variety of clients. These pay, and I am very happy to have the work. The problem is, my long term goal is to become a published novelist. For a few weeks now, I allowed my paying jobs to eclipse my dream. This is a mistake I do not plan to repeat. Sure, the time passed by quickly. I have felt rather overwhelmed by the amount of work. Focus is important, though, and for a little while I lost mine. Today, I adjusted my sight so that my focus is back on track.

Perhaps the request for a partial was fate giving me a little hint. I started querying again, and within an hour I had a response that I had not received before. Even if it ends in a polite "no", I have found my motivation, which I had no idea I lost until today.

Hopefully, I will come to follow this road over and over again in the future. At that point, it may become routine. For now, I will enjoy the new excitement of it all. Something akin to going on your first date or moving into your first apartment. Eventually you will move, or date other people, and in this case, possibly write other books. The first time is special, though. I hope that one day I can look back and fondly remember my first clumsy steps that eventually carried me to where I want to be.